STOCK MARKET: WEEK NINE

STOCK DOWN: The state of Maryland. Both of the Old Line State’s I-A schools were 9-4 a year ago. Both of them are 2-6 now. Navy, you might have heard, had a mudhole stomped in them by Notre Dame. As for the Terps, they lost 28-17 to a Boston College team whose only other win this year was against UMass. BC running back Rolandan Finch got the start after Montel Harris’ season-ending injury and ran for 243 yards, nearly doubling his total yardage for the season. This might be Randy Edsall’s dream, but it’s Maryland fans’ nightmare. Somewhere, Mike Leach is pouring lighter fluid on Ralph Friedgen’s burning diploma.

STOCK UP: Turning your season around. Well at least we know it’s possible. WKU, who followed up their loss to Navy with a 44-16 loss to I-AA Indiana State, has won four in a row. Their winning streak includes a shutout of Florida Atlantic, a 42-23 win over conference front-runner Louisiana-Lafayette, and Saturday’s overtime win over the team formerly known as the Fighting Weatherbies. WKU is now 4-1 in the Sun Belt and in the running for the conference championship. GUIDE US TO THE LAND OF MILK AND HONEY, HILLTOPPERS.

STOCK DOWN: Sportsmanship.

Uh, yeah.

STOCK DOWN: SMU. Since going on a 5-game winning streak that included victories over UCF and TCU, SMU has lost two straight. Now there’s no shame in losing to Southern Miss and Tulsa. Both are good football teams and could very well meet in the Conference-USA title game. The problem is in how SMU lost. June Jones’ run & shoot offense has been held to 10 combined points over this losing streak (LOL YOU CALL THAT A LOSING STREAK?), and against Tulsa the Mustangs gave up 3 sacks, threw 4 interceptions, and were held to 180 yards passing. Fortunately for SMU, the cure for what ails most football teams is a game against Tulane, and the Green Wave head to Dallas next week. That’ll be a good tuneup for the all-important Gansz Trophy showdown with future Big East rival Navy. THROW OUT THE RECORDS WHEN THOSE TWO STORIED RIVALS MEET.

(Please?)

STOCK UP: Case Keenum. Of course, Tulsa probably won’t win their division unless Case Keenum is injured. Keenum threw for 534 yards and NINE TOUCHDOWNS against Rice. NINE.

NINE.

IX.

(9)

He set the record for most career TD passes in I-A history after he threw his fifth, but what kind of slacker stops at 5 TD passes?

STOCK UP: Georgia Tech. Paul Johnson’s team had a losing streak of their own cooking before unscrewing themselves in a 31-17 thumping of previously unbeaten Clemson. The Jackets just steamrolled the #5 team in the BCS while running for 383 yards, but I guarantee the next time they lose someone will say that the spread option offense has been “solved.” Whatever.

STOCK DOWN: Football games being 60 minutes long. There’s been a lot of talk lately about the welfare of NCAA student-athletes, from protecting their health by eliminating dangerous hits, to approving a $2,000 stipend for football and basketball players to cover the “full cost of attendance.” I fully support these measures. In fact, I would do more. We need to consider the long-term effects of playing football on athlete health. If we shortened the length of the game from 60 minutes to 58 minutes, we could save 24 minutes a year in a 12-game season. That’s a solid hour and a half over the course of a 4-year career, saving players’ bodies from additional wear and tear and reducing the chance of a serious injury that might have occurred in all of that extra time. We’ve taken great steps toward taking care of our players, and when the rules committee looks at changes for next year, I hope they go one step further and consider 58-minute games. For the players.

(This post written by special guest commentator Bret Bielema.)

STOCK UP. WAY, WAY UP: This.

Postgame Haiku, Vol. 52

Defense down and out
Trey Miller not quite ready
Not a good combo

First-time starting QBs for Navy against Notre Dame

Now that it’s official that sophomore Trey Miller will start at quarterback for Navy on Saturday in place of injured Kriss Proctor — it will be Miller’s first career start — it’s time to look back on a few other first-time starting QBs who began their careers against Notre Dame.

Kaipo-Noa Kaheaku-Enhada, Notre Dame vs Navy in Baltimore, 2006

How he got there: Kaheaku-Enhada was named the starter after senior Brian Hampton sustained a season-ending knee injury in the previous game, against Rutgers on homecoming.

How he did: Kaheaku-Enhada had 19 carries for 42 yards and 2 touchdowns. His second touchdown closed Navy’s deficit to 17-14 just before halftime. But the Irish responded with a touchdown before the half, and another to start the second half, etc. Notre Dame won, 38-14, though Navy rushed for 271 yards.

Aaron Polanco, Notre Dame vs Navy in Baltimore, 2002

How he got there:  Starter Craig Candeto sustained a serious ankle injury on the opening drive against the fifth-ranked Irish. So not technically a start for Polanco, though he did start the following week.

How he did: Polanco played the rest of the way and guided Navy to a 23-15 lead with 5 minutes left. Notre Dame scored twice, however, to win, 30-23.

Brian Madden, Navy at Notre Dame, 1999

How he got there: Starter Brian Broadwater sustained a broken clavicle, also on homecoming, in the previous game.

How he did: Fairly well by anyone’s standards. Madden rushed for 168 yards and a touchdown; Navy led 24-21 with around 1 minute 40 seconds left when the Irish converted a 4th-and-10, then scored the winning touchdown soon after.

Ben Fay, Navy at Notre Dame, 1995

How he got there: Fay made his first career start in place of Chris McCoy.

How he did: Behind Fay, Navy led at halftime, 17-14; Notre Dame came back to win, 35-17. Fay played quite well: He threw for 231 yards and rushed for 53.

CHET ON THE BIG EAST

If you were at the game, or if the trauma has caused a block in your memory between Friday and Sunday, here’s the in-game interview with Chet Gladchuk:

STOCK MARKET: WEEK EIGHT

STOCK DOWN: Life. It is cruel. It is filled with stubbed toes and people who cut you off on the freeway. It gives you wonderful things like strawberry milkshakes and carne asada burritos but then makes you fat if you eat them. It is the monster that created Ke$ha and the designated hitter and automatic transmissions. It sucks and there’s nothing you can do about it.

STOCK DOWN: October. What a wimpy-ass month. It can’t bring the heat like August, and it doesn’t have steel to deliver the harsh iciness of December. It’s boring. It’s milquetoast. It’s as spineless as a Conference USA referee.

STOCK DOWN: Flowers. Why do we tolerate things that do nothing but cause allergies and attract stinging insects? Because of the pretty colors? I’ve had pretty red scabs and pretty purple bruises, but nobody’s stopping to smell those.

STOCK DOWN: Washington DC. Every bad decision that the government has ever had? Yeah, it came from this place. How many baseball teams does it have to drive away before people realize how much it sucks? Have you ever tried to park there? They stack 4 signs on top of each other to confuse you into thinking you’re allowed to park somewhere when you really aren’t allowed to park anywhere because the city’s budget is funded entirely by parking ticket revenue. Yeah, like I really wanted to spend my Christmas in Washington.

STOCK DOWN: The letter C. Utterly redundant. It does nothing that K or S can’t handle. Its existence is probably because of some conspiracy by the ink and paper lobby to make books longer. We should all have learned our ABDs, but big business forced C on us. OCCUPY THE ALPHABET.

STOCK DOWN: MY TV. WHY? WHY MUST YOU DELIVER IMAGES OF ANGUISH AND DESPAIR INTO MY HOME?

STOCK DOWN: Puppies. Who the hell wants some hairy mess that turns kibble into poop if it doesn’t even know how to fetch my slippers yet? Yeah, they’re so adorable. As adorable as vet bills and carpet cleaning and hours and hours of training. Get back in your kennel, Fido.

Postgame Haiku, Vol. 51

Down economy?
Don’t spend money on bowl trip.
Navy helps you out!

WATCH: `A GAME OF HONOR’ WEBISODE PREMIERE

WATCH: `A GAME OF HONOR’ WEBISODE PREMIERE – NAVYSPORTS.com – The United States Naval Academy Official Athletic Site.

STOCK MARKET: WEEK SEVEN

Mike

STOCK DOWN: The Service Academies. Navy’s lost four in a row, Air Force has lost two straight and is in last place in the Mountain West, and Army turns into 22 adorable golden retriever puppies whenever they play away from Michie Stadium (which they do in 4 of their last 6 games). Yay shared misery! :fingergun:

STOCK UP: Kansas State. The Wildcats are 6-0 and up to #12 in the AP poll. Did you chuckle when K-State brought Bill Snyder back? I did a little, but nobody’s laughing anymore.  Snyder was the architect of the original resurgence of Kansas State football from their nightmare decade in the ’80s– I mean, they re-named the stadium after him– so maybe he just needed someone to run the program into the ground just to make the job interesting again. Kansas is up next week, and then the Wildcats get to host Oklahoma for the inside track at the Big 12 title.

STOCK DOWN: Georgia Tech. It’s gotta suck to come this far only to lose to Virginia.

STOCK DOWN: South Carolina. The Stephen Garcia drama made things hard enough for the offense, but now Marcus Lattimore is out for the year? The only hope for the Gamecocks at this point is to become the football equivalent of Big Ten basketball and win games 7-3. That’s pretty much what they’ve done all year anyway, and that was WITH Lattimore.

STOCK UP: Riley Nelson. After a 1-2 start that included a 54-10 embarrassment at the hands of Utah, BYU has won 4 straight to move to 5-2. The catalyst has been quarterback Riley Nelson, who led a comeback against Utah State two weeks ago and threw 3 TD passes in a 38-28 win over Oregon State that saw BYU rack up almost 500 yards of total offense.  The 5 games left on the schedule include only two tough matchups for BYU: TCU and Hawaii in Honolulu. The Cougars are well on their way to 8 wins, with 10 being a real possibility. Not a bad start for your first season on your own as an independent.

NOT SURE IF STOCK UP OR STOCK DOWN: San Jose State or Hawaii. Hawaii is always a different team on the mainland, a phenomenon that manifested itself earlier this season in a 40-20 loss to UNLV. I shouldn’t be surprised when they pull a stinker like this, yet somehow I always am. San Jose State does deserve credit, though, for gutting out a win in a crazy– some might say ugly– game.

STOCK UP: San Diego State. The team looked like it was in disarray after back-to-back losses to Michigan and TCU, but they righted the ship with a decisive 41-27 win over Air Force. Ronnie Hillman slashed his way for 172 yards, reminding everyone that he’s the best player in the conference not named Kellen Moore. The win solidified the Aztecs’ standing as the leader of the second tier in the MWC behind Boise State and TCU. The Frogs are Big 12-bound and Boise has one foot out the door, making the future pretty bright on Montezuma Mesa for a change.

Adam

STOCK UP: Southern Methodist. I’ve always held that defense wins the day in Conference-USA, and because of that mantra, I figured Southern Methodist would have dropped a league game by this point. But June Jones has the Ponies playing inspired football through the first half of the season, and after dispatching the conference’s traditional defensive powerhouse in UCF on Saturday, the Mustangs are primed for a huge showdown with Southern Miss. And now that Texas A&M has recovered from a two-game skid, that week one loss is starting to look a lot more explainable…

STOCK DOWN: Northwestern. As a Navy fan, please feel free to take solace in Northwestern’s 2-4 record. The Wildcats were talked up by some as a darkhorse in the Big 10, but have folded on defense down the stretch in games, and remained frustratingly inconsistent on offense. Sound familiar?

STOCK UP: Eastern Michigan. Granted, two of the team’s four wins have come over FCS teams, but give Ron English credit for having the Eagles at 4-3 through the first half of the year. With a win over Central Michigan last weekend they’re halfway home to winning Michigan’s highly coveted Direction Trophy, and although they’ll be underdogs against Western Michigan this Saturday, they will be at home.

STOCK DOWN: South Florida. Yikes. After starting out 4-0 ,the Bulls have dropped the last two. I’m not sure what is worse at this point – losing to Pittsburgh (which then turned around and lost to Utah) or losing to (gulp) Connecticut.

Postgame Haiku, Vol. 50

Remember when Coach
Said placekicking woes won’t last?
Hello, two and four.

TODAY IN CONFERENCE EXPANSION NEWS

I’M SO EXCITED

I’M SO SCARED